The twelvth part of my adventure in becoming a TV / Sissy

The whole week I thought about what had happened so far and if this really was, what I was looking for. I worked the whole week and then stayed the weekend away from home to be the person I felt I needed to be, but the more I thought about it, the more it grew closer to me, that it was not really what I was looking for. I wanted more than that and I did not want to be alone any more. Even if Holger was around the shop, while I was in the theater, I felt alone, because he was not paying attention to me and did not get in touch with me most of the time. Only after closing the shop and sometimes during the day we talked a bit, but it did not feel like he was my master.

On Friday after work I wrote him a message, that I was not coming this weekend, even if I had told him on last sunday, that I would be coming.

Like 5 minutes after I had sent my message Holger responded and wanted to know what the matter was.

I told him everything I had thought about and we began to exchange some messages. He wrote that he really liked me around him and that he definitely would be sad, if I was not coming this weekend.

I answered him, that I liked the idea of it too, but that I did not like the fact that he was not around most of the time and that there were not that much of guests in the theater furthermore.

After about texting for about one and a half hour Holger asked me, what needed to change, to make me come this weekend.

I told him, that I wanted him around me and that I did not want to stay alone in the theater. Further I told him, that I wanted more, than what had happened so far.

Immediately he asked me what I meant. I answered him, that I would like to become more of a sissy by now, not just sucking cock, but getting fucked, getting dominated more and beeing controlled and played with more than so far.

He responded something like: "All right, I got it. If you really want this all, be here at 10."

I answered him, that I did not know about that and he just wrote back: "You know what you want and you know what to do slut."

The following two hours I thought about what would happen if I was going there this evening, respectively what would not happen if I was not going.

It was like a fight of two different 'people' inside me. There was a strong, curious and horny self and a weak, anxious and refusing self.

The horny self was like: 'Yeah, go there. Don't worry. All will be fine when you go" and the other self was like: 'Maybe not?!'

After I had discussed this issue with both sides of my mind, I came to the conclusion that I was going. I was not 100% sure, that it would be fine and all would be well, but I was very curious about what might happen. I fantasized about Holger closing the shop early and really taking me as his bitch. I fantasized about Holger demanding to take me in the shop. I fantasized about Holger 'forcing' me to walk around the shop. I continued to fantasize about many different possibilities of what might happen.

While I was thinking about this all I showered, used the shaving creme and the lotion afterwards, got my bag packed and at 8:30 I left my home.

I arrived at the theater about 9:30 went inside and walked towards the counter. Holger smiled as he saw me and told me just to enter the theater and get myself ready. He handed me a key to one of the lockers, "You know what to do with that right?"

I did as he told me and like 10:15 I was completely dressed (incl. chastity cage, clamps, wig, mask,...) and had my makeup (incl. nail polish) ready.

I packed all the other stuff in a locker and went to the counter inside the theater and rang the bell. Some seconds later Holger showed up, took the key for the locker and left without saying a word.

I stood there and waited for him to come back, but he did not. My anxious self triumphated: 'See? What did you expect?'

I was worried, that I had decided the wrong way. I sat down on a barstool and just waited.

Around 11:00 Holger came back. It was the time the shop closes and I felt it was like everytime. Why was I so dumb to hope he would do something else? Or was I just hoping?

"Do you want to go outside?", he asked me and I nodded my head in frustration.

Like everytime we went to the emergency exit and Holger let me out. "10 minutes sissy", he told me before he closed the door.

I started to walk. It was the same thing like the last times. I walked 500 steps in one direction, turned around and walked back to the theater. I looked through the glass-door and saw Holger smiling, but shaking his head and told me with this, that my time was not up yet.

I decided to walk 500 steps to the other side of the theater. I walked around the corner of the shop and as I passed the backyard of the theater I heard Holger: "Wait"

He stepped out of the shadows on the backyard. He carried a backpack and smiled.

"You wanted something else and more right?"

I was baffled and just answered: "Yes Sir". In my mind the horny side threw my anxious side on the ground and placed a foot on it's chest.

"Follow me", he said and walked past me. He was walking kind of fast and I had to really concentrate on walking in my heels, to stay close to him.

After some minutes we reached a car. It was a grey van of Volkswagen. One of those cars for like 7 passengers and the driver. The windows in the back of the car were tinted black. Holger opened the slide-door to the 'passenger-room' and told me to get in.

I climbed into the van and sat down. Holger entered the van also and sat down next to me.

"You want this?", he asked me and my horny self pushed everyone else to the side: "Yes Sir".

He opened his backpack and got a black cloth-blindfold out. He placed it on my eyes and I was sitting there completely unable to see anything.

I heard him getting something else out of the bag and shortly afterwards he told me to move a bit away from the backrest of the seat. I did as he told me and felt how he took each of my wrists and put a cuff around each of it.

He told me to put my hands behind my back and as I had followed his command, he attached both cuffs with help of a trigger hook together.

"Relax now", he told me.

I heard and felt how he got out of the van. As soon as he closed the door my heart began to pound. Thousands of thoughts washed over me and drowned my horny self. Anxious, weak and refusal got the power now.

A few seconds later Holger entered the van on the drivers seat.

"Where are we going?", my voice was shaking like hell.

"I told you to relax right?", Holger asked.

"Yes", I said, "but,..."

"There is no but", he told me, "You wanted more. You get more."

"Please,...", I started.

"All right", I heard him take a deep breath. He got out of the car and seconds later he entered again in the back. He sat down next to me and began to rummage around in his backpack.

Shortly after that I felt his right hand on my chin. He pulled my head, so that I would have been facing him, if I had been able to see.

"You told me you wanted more?", he asked me.

"Yes Sir", I answered, "I want more, but I am afraid, that something might happen, what I don't want."

"Do you trust me?", he asked.

"Yes Sir. I do trust you."

I felt how a finger was put inside the ring on my collar. The finger began to pull and I noticed how Holgers head was close to mine.

I knew what was coming, but as I had never kissed a man before, I was not sure if it would be ok for me.

Holger pressed his lips on mine and I responed. It was like an explosion. His mouth opened a bit and mine followed. I felt his tongue entering my mouth and getting in touch with my tongue. Holger pulled his head away and the kiss stopped.

"Open your mouth", he said and I obeyed.

As soon as I had my mouth open I felt how a ball-gag was inserted in my mouth. Holgers hand held the ball in its place and told me to bite on it. With some leather straps, which were attached to the gag, he fastened it in my mouth by closing the 'belt-buckle' on the back of my head. It took some time, because Holger fastened the straps under the hair of the wig and for that reason he had to fumble a bit on this.

As he was done he left the van again, closed the door and seconds later I heard how he started the engine.

I was dizzy from the kiss, totally horny and very curious. My horny mind had survived and was revived in a spectacular way.

He could have told me in this moment, that we were going to pass the gates of hell and I would not have been able to give a damn about it.