Part 26

Even though I already had 545 minutes of my punishment worked off and 'only' 355 minutes left, I started to feel exhausted.

Less sleep than usual, the extraordinary amount of strokes with the whip and the overall situation added up to a big pile of exhaustion.

"How do you feel?", Holger asked, after he had looked at me for some minutes. I think he might have seen the exhaustion in my facial expressions and the way I moved.

I told him, that I am quite tired and that it was really intense what we had done so far.

"I know, but it is your own fault", he told me and I knew he was right. If I had obeyed him the day before, it would not have happened.

Holger allowed me to sit down on the couch and relax a few minutes while he was going to the bathroom.

I almost felt asleep, while waiting for Holger to return.

He looked at me again and smiled: "How about we get all your minutes to zero real quick and I drive you home afterwards?"

"How?", I asked.

Holger explained to me, that we would go out again. Start driving in the direction of my home and do some tasks while we were on our way. He told me, that all minutes would set to zero the moment we reach my appartment.

I agreed and was told to use the bathroom also, while Holger got all toys and packed them in the backpack.

After I was finished, we startet.

At first we drove through Holgers home town and as we passed a gas station I was told to get out, fill up the tank and get a big pack of marlboro, while paying.

It was like 5:30pm and there were quite some people at that station.

"Really?", I asked him after he told me what I would have to do. He only smiled and reminded me of the possibility of loosing all my progress, if I disobeyed him.

I did not think about it twice and stepped outside after taking his money. Luckily I was wearing my coat on top of the other clothes, but the fishnets and heels were visible and I felt myself like a cheap slut.

Some people looked, stared at me, but I pretended not to notice. I went inside the shop, got the zigarettes and paid for them and for the gas and rushed out, back into Holgers car.

"Was it that bad?", he asked me and honestly I have to say, that it was not that bad. Nothing bad happened at all and the looks of the people were not even like unpleasant as I had them expected to be.

We continued to speak about it for some minutes and Holger told me, that he is accepting my fears and that he will not expose me in that way in my hometown, but that he wants me to get comfortable with the idea of getting seen by random people. He told me, that his goal was to get me to a point where I give a **** on people's thoughts and meanings.

I was not really sure what he was saying exactly, I just remained silent, because I was tired and wanted to get everything behind me.

The second stop was at a fastfood restaurant. They had a drive through, but as the parking lot was quite empty Holger told me to go inside and get our order there.

I went inside, ordered and waited for the woman behind the counter to gather our food. There were like five employees and six or seven people sitting in the restaurant.

Again the looks were kind of akward, but not in that intensity, that it would not be bearable. A few minutes later I walked out with two bags of food in my hands and got back in the car.

Holger drove to a small parking lot with no street lanterns burning. We parked there and ate our food in the car. After we were finished Holger started the car and drove of.

As we passed another parking lot, that one was illuminated, Holger stopped the car and told me to throw away the trash from our meal. He told me to walk to the trash can at the other side of the parking lot. There were quite some trash cans on my way, but he wanted me to have a little walk.

I got out and started to walk. Some cars were passing the parking lot on the road which was running next to it. I was definetely seen by them, but nothing extraordinary happened. I got the trash into the trash can and walked back.

As I reached the car, Holger stepped out and we smoked a cigarette.

"Was not that bad again, right?", he asked me.

"Yes, Sir. I thought it might be worse than that."

"Now", he began, "I want you to understand, that nothing bad can happend to you, if you simply are who you are."

"Sir?"

"Who are you?"

"I am a fucking sissy slut?"

"Was that a question?"

"No, Sir. I am a fucking sissy slut."

"Right. Why would something bad happend if you act like the way you feel? I am myself outside of my home too and nothing bad happened to me so far."

"Yes, but you are a man, going out and behaving like a man too."

"You think, only because I am living my life after the social standard of the most people, nothing bad happened so far?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Well, maybe. But maybe it is just, because I am confident in what I am."

I don't really know if these were the exact words, but the dialog went in that direction and after a few minutes I really started to think about it. Maybe I would not even think of the looks of the people as akward, if I was just confident with myself.

Holger told me further, that most people don't really care about others. They might judge me inside their minds, but won't bother to insult me or confront me. Just because they don't want to get too involved in other peoples belongings.

Naturally they will talk about me with friends or some other people, making fun of me, but people talk bad about other people all the time, even if they don't did something wrong.

The lack of sleep and other exhausting factors came together and with every minute we talked about it I felt more that he was right.

'What could happend to me' I asked myself and I was sure, that nothing bad would happen, as long as I am not confronting someone myself and I was really sure, that everything would be good - because Holger was there to rescue me, if there was an emergency in any case.

We were on the highway already and Holger asked me if I was thirsty. I answered positively and we left the highway on the only rest stop between his hometown and my hometown.

The rest stop had a small gas station and I was told to get him a coke and for me I was allowed to buy a water. As I was already on my way stepping outside of the car, full of confidence.

Again nothing bad happened. I went inside the store, got the coke and the water, paid and left. Like a normal person.

We started again to drive, but Holger took a wrong turn. He left the rest stop not onto the highway, but on a ordinary road. To the left and right there were some fields.

Two minutes later I was clear, that it was not a mistake. Holger was up to something and I knew nothing.

We continued to follow the road. We passed two small villages and finally arrived at some forest.

We parked our car on a parking lot at the side of the road.

Meanwhile it was about 7:00pm and his car was the only one on the parking lot.

We got out and Holger told me to leave the coat in the car.

"There are now two options", Holger told me: "You will have a walk with me through the forest, we will use some toys and you will have to endure it, as long as I want to. That can be quite painful. The second option is, that you simply walk down the road. You will start here and continue following this road, until I pick you up. It will not be painful, but I assume you don't know this place and so will not know, what is waiting for you around the next turn."

"I am about to choose, Sir?", I asked.

Holger nodded and I took option Nr. two. My ass still hurt and I was sure, that I would not endure any more strokes with the whip.

"All right. Then start.", Holger told me and I went off. He looked a bit surprised, but had a smile on his face.